Halloween/Hurricane Sandy

Black cats and goblins and broomsticks and ghosts.
Covens of witches with all of their hosts.
You may think they scare me. You're probably right.
Black cats and goblins on Halloween night.
Trick or treat!

 My favorite holiday has arrived. Unfortunately there is enough horror on the news these days to make Michael Myers seem like child’s play. It’s unfortunate yet another Halloween has been clouded with a weather related disaster for the second consecutive year in a row. But while last year’s snow storm postponed trick or treating, this year’s Hurricane Sandy put a stop to life in general. There is catastrophic destruction shown on every channel.  From over flooded subway stations to burned homes in Queens to amusement park rides floating out to sea in Seaside Heights, NJ.  These were the same rides I went on as a young child in the ‘80s. The tri-state area is dealing with the aftermath of one of the worst storms in recent history. 

Now usually I don’t get affected much by torrential rain, snow, or winds but even this year I was not spared some misfortune.  As Monday’s night howling winds took full force I predicted my luck was going to run out. The lights flickered. The cable tv went black.  I went to sleep and woke up with no electricity. It ended up being out for a full fifteen hours. In light of what others suffered through and will remain suffering through for months to come, losing power for less than a full day was not that big of deal.  Still, I felt a sense of isolation and even slight panic as the hours passed getting closer to sunset.  I live on the ground level so I get very little light through my windows on a good day, so with clouds and no power it was like hanging out in a small cave hour after hour. Worse than that was the quiet. No tv, no internet, no radio, and little use of my phone. So I couldn’t even hear myself talk. I took a walk outside and found more eerie quietness as the streets were deserted. I witnessed more broken tree limbs than actual persons walking about. Leaves, branches, and scattered Halloween decorations were all I came across. Many traffic lights were also not working causing confusion on the streets. Much to my dismay many local stores were not opened due to either lack of power or flooding. I felt like the world had come to a screeching halt as far as daily routines. And I’m all about routine. I take comfort in my daily activities like getting on the bus and going to work. For the last five days I’ve been stuck in a non-active limbo forced to watch endless news coverage or staring dumbly at my Kindle while holding a flashlight. No words were sinking in as I tried to read. It was hard to concentrate on much knowing my food was spoiling in the fridge and the impending darkness was just a few hours away. Still, it was light years away from the pain and suffering endured by those who lost their homes due to fire or water…or those who needed to be evacuated from hospitals in the middle of the night. I was one of the lucky ones and for that I am grateful.

So the real terror remains outside my window and downtown in lower Manhattan or across the way in New Jersey. Watching my favorite horror films seems trite and almost ridiculous when I could just watch the news to feel a true sense of dread. Still, we must go forward with our routines in order to pick up and move on. I’ll be watching John Carpenter’s Halloween tonight…and maybe a few other classics like Fright Night or The Shining, but it simply doesn’t feel the same. Even the annual Greenwich Village Halloween parade was canceled. In what was supposed to be a night of trick or treating it’s a night of simply being thankful for being able to turn on a lamp or sleep under a roof or have hot water to take a shower. Most frightening of all on this Halloween night is the realization that life can forever change in an instant. 

The Walking Dead

I was recently having a conversation with a fellow movie lover about the downfall of quality films lately. It seems movies just aren’t that good anymore. The box office slump as of late is proof we’re not the only ones who refuse to pay money to see crap flicks. What are the choices these days? There’s action films geared toward those suffering from attention deficit, the crude and unfunny comedies, or another remake of a much better film from the ‘80s. So in times these like these when there’s not much to see at the movies I’ve turned to cable tv series. The writing is superior, the acting is of higher quality, and the stories are just far more interesting! Hollywood had better take a good look at their box office receipts in comparison to the ratings of these cable shows and get with the program. Stop putting out garbage and work on being creative for once! Anyway---I’ve been a long time fan of shows like Dexter, True Blood, and recently Game of Thrones. My newest little obsession is AMC’s The Walking Dead. Being a horror fan, especially when it comes to zombies, I find this show to be such a treat to watch. It contains just the right amount of intensity and character development with plenty of gore as well. It’s not as vicious as films like 28 Days Later or even the original old school Night of the Living Dead, but it still works on many levels.

Originally based on the comic book of the same name (which I never read), The Walking Dead is simply about a plague of infected zombies (a.k.a "walkers") taking over the world leaving behind a few survivors who must band together and go on living. What drew me initially to this series were the walking corpses. I’ve been watching zombie films for years especially the ones directed by George Romero and Dan O’Bannon. “The Return of the Living Dead” tops my list of all time favorite living dead movies. I always found reanimated beings (or objects like dolls) more gruesome and terrifying than vampires or wolves or most any other horror creature. Something about the reanimation of a once alive, but now dead person running after me just gives me shivers. Yet it’s fun to watch at the same time. Frank Darabont who of course directed The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile uses his talent of directing human emotions to great use in this series. It’s not just about “walkers” invading and running past the living like a herd of vicious animals. It’s about how these people relate to each other and are being forced to inhabit the same space and form a life together. They also must form a new society in a way. It’s kind of like The Stand except all those dead people are still roaming around. So not only must they keep humanity going in a spiritual sense, but they must keep themselves alive so the entire population doesn’t completely die out. Without rules or some sort of guide it’s easy for people to turn on one another in order to save themselves. For the young kids who will quickly forget what it’s like to live in a zombie free existence it’s hardest on them to find real enjoyment and hope. Or maybe not since they barely remember what it was like to have normal humans walking around not trying to eat them all the time.

There’s a little twist involving those infected. They don’t need to get bitten in order to turn. They just need to die. So you could have a heart attack and next thing you know you’re trying to rip off your loved one’s face.  How’s that for messed up? I recently watched all thirteen episodes of season 2 in one weekend (due to reasons of my own) and thoroughly enjoyed each episode! The storyline picks up where Season 1 left off with a gang of members trying to find a new safe place to try and build some existence. Along the way they encounter more ruthless flesh eaters and even some not so trustworthy still breathing members of the human race. Most of all they still deal with every day life. There’s a sense of friendship, family, respect, and understanding. There’s also a lot of anger, resentment, bitterness, and jealousy. These few are forced to live together in a way they never imagined. All their dreams and former lives are altered forever. They’ve lost loved ones and left the life they knew behind. But the goal remains the same which is to keep on surviving for another day. One of the lead actors (Rick—played by real life Brit Andrew Lincoln) tells his son there is no way to stop death. He will die, his son will die. Every one will die eventually. All they can do is put it off and avoid it as long as possible. That’s all anyone can do even when there’s not vicious walkers outside the door. As long as that spirit of wanting to go on remains in tact there will always be a battle with whatever disease, destruction, or monster awaits to rob you of it. I think that’s the true essence of the show (and life) and what makes it so appealing to watch.

I won’t go into any storyline details or spoil it, but I think it’s one of the best shows on tv right now and just in time for the most wonderful season of all....Halloween! I think we all need a little scare in our lives to make sure we stay on the right track.

Edward Norton Back to Back Double Feature

I had the pleasure of watching two Edward Norton films this past weekend. One was an old favorite and the other was new to me though released several years ago. I never ceased to be amazed by the subtle yet impressive acting chops by Mr. Norton. I was first introduced to him while watching 1997’s Primal Fear. That performance is still outstanding even after all this time. If there ever was an actor robbed of an Oscar it was him for role of Aaron/Roy! He was exquisite and so believable. I knew then he was a forced to be reckoned with and each subsequent role proved his staying power from American History X to the disturbing 25^th Hour. But I’m here today to talk about two his more romantic features which are both sadly underrated and unnoticed.

The Painted Veil (2006)

Based on the novel by W. Somerset Maugham of the same name, this story follows a recently married couple into a cholera epidemic in 1920s China. Despite its morbid tone, there’s actually quite a bit of hope and forgiveness in this film. It’s a tale of love, infidelity, betrayal, deceit, absolution, and growth. Edward Norton and Naomi Watts play the newlywed couple from London visiting Shanghai during a tumultuous time. Norton’s Dr. Fane is a bacteriologist studying microorganisms and has trouble relating to human beings. He’s stuffy, reserved, and socially awkward yet somehow manages to convince the lively socialite Kitty (Watts) to marry him and settle to China while he continues to study. Of course the marriage fails before it begins due to their differences in cultures, taste, and overall personalities. They simply don’t know each other that well. The wife cheats and the husband plots an ingenious revenge. He will take her on a voyage to a small town in China stricken with a deadly Cholera epidemic. I’m not making Dr. Fane sound all that appealing, but truthfully he wasn’t in the beginning. Neither was she. But in time they come to lower their shields and let each other in once the anger subsides. It isn't terribly difficult to see what’s important in life when surrounded by such despair and death. The local residents are dying quickly from the disease while Norton’s character tries to save the contaminated water from further spreading the outbreak. This movie is so superbly filmed. The scenery, the atmosphere, the tone, and the music all work so well to make it incredibly beautiful. These characters are not always the most likeable but it adds realism to how betrayal can bring out such ugliness. As Kitty explains to Dr. Fane people make mistakes, disappoint, and are much more complex than the microbes he religiously studies. What drew me to this film was it's perfectly paced tone. The characters slowly evolve and reveal themselves to its audience. We come to care for them and want them to find each other. Much of their dialogue is understated and yet we feel so much. The emotion pours through the screen due in large part to both Norton and Watts incredible acting. They play off each other in such a way that even when they’re arguing it’s like a little intriguing dance. I can’t say much more without spoiling the story, but it’s such a shame this movie wasn’t given more recognition not only by the Academy but by the box office. It’s an absolute gem all movie lovers must go and see immediately.

Down in the Valley (2005)

Here we have another romantic tale gone wrong. Norton plays Harlan…a 30 something unambitious cowboy working at a gas station in the San Fernando valley. When I say cowboy, I mean he really believes he’s from the old west. He seems oddly misplaced in this hectic city life where he simply wants to ride a horse and shoot his guns like Billy the Kid. He refuses to drive a car believing it's the same as being locked inside a box all the time. He likes to roam free by bus or horse, of course. He meets 17 year old Tobe played by Evan Rachel Wood. She’s spirited, feisty, and rebellious towards her father. So of course she wants to ride off into the sunset with the cowboy. As the story begins to unfold we see there’s much more complexity between the characters mainly stemming from Harlan. Does he really believe he’s a cowboy wandering the streets? What exactly is his deal? He doesn’t seem to have any career ambitions. He mentioned working on a ranch, but those of us who have visited Southern California know there are a very few ranches to come by. The straining relationship between Tobe and her father becomes increasingly strenuous as she grows closer to Harlan. Then there’s Tobe’s younger misguided brother who is quiet and could be easily misled which becomes obvious when he starts hanging around Harlan as well. Again, I can’t say much more without spoiling the story, but I will say this film took an unexpected twist half way through which threw me for a loop. Once again Norton is able to take on a character driven role and play it with such tenderness and innocence you almost walk away believing anything he says which can prove manipulating in the long run. It’s not a perfect film and I have issues with the abrupt ending, but it’s worth a watch for the acting performance from all involved. Still, if I had to choose The Painted Veil is a far more superior film.

4th Of July Double Feature: The Amazing Spider-Man and Rock Of Ages

The Amazing Spider-Man

I'll admit I was one of the many who was shocked and a little annoyed at the announcement there would be a reboot of the Spider-man series. Was Hollywood running out of ideas so quickly they needed to remake a film which had been made in this century already? First it was supposed to be the fourth installment of the Sam Raimi series starring Tobey Maguire. I suppose some studio executive had the brilliant idea of starting all over again from scratch with a new script, director, and actors. Not a surprise it got the green light and the Amazing Spider-man was on it's way. I was on board with those who felt it was completely premature and unnecessary. So I went into the theater already expecting a rehash of the same story with a new face of Peter Parker. I walked away quite pleased at how much I enjoyed it despite the story being revisited all over again. Yes we get an intro to nerdy and bullied Peter pining away for the girl of his dreams while his Uncle Ben nags him about being responsible. Yup been there done that with the 2001 installment. However, it's almost like having the same dream and feeling dejavu yet noticing slight changes. After a while I stopped comparing it to the original and just enjoyed it for what it was. It's still a bit campy, cheesy, and overly sentimental, but it doesn't lay it on too thick like it's predecessor. It has a bit more humor and quite frankly there's much better acting this time around as well. No offense to MaGuire and Dunst, but they both had little chemistry while swooning over each other. I felt a stronger attraction between Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. Plus I enjoyed the fact that his geeky self wasn't overplayed. He was actually cool even before getting bitten by the spider. The drastic change isn't so much in his confidence, but actual physical strength. The pre-spider Peter has a better sense of himself and what he wants than the 2001 version of pre-bitten Parker did. But enough of the comparisons, this movie stands well on it's own and was well worth the price of admission. I do have a few qualms though. I thought the transition between scenes could have been tighter. Some moments dragged on far too long and I felt myself zoning out. There should have been more of an even tone with the action, serious scenes and as well with the romance (which again I must reiterate is much hotter this time around!). I could have done without some of Parker's remarks to the Lizard Man (I realize that's not really his name but it's fitting) while shooting his webs at him. It made him seem cartoonish and not threatening at all. Peter is a good guy, but he's also dangerous and menacing to those he wishes to demolish and it would seem more intense if he wasn't cracking jokes the entire time. Nonetheless the film worked yet I can already tell there's going to be lots of hate and endless comparisons with the original (which ironically was also hated ten years ago). People just don't like change and love to complain about which they can't control or do better if given the chance. I'd also like to add the special effects were much stronger as well...and made him much more believable as a real life spider. In the end it's a movie based on a comic book and I am not going to nitpick the film to death. I liked it, I liked Garfield, and I was thoroughly entertained. It accomplished what a summer film should. Sidenote: It was great to see former '80s heart throb C.Thomas Howell back on the big screen with his small role in the film. It wasn't so great however to see how drastically he's aged! You don't realize how quickly time is rolling on by until you see faces from the past resurface not looking as youthful as they once did. It threw me for a loop to see a middle aged Ponyboy Curtis and actually took me out of the film for a bit there. Still, I'm glad to see he's getting screen time on the one of the biggest blockbusters of the summer.

Rock Of Ages

I've been a fan of musicals going back to Grease and Little Shop of Horrors just to name a few. The last few entries such as Hairspray and Dreamgirls have been rather lackluster. They were well made, but just didn't have that fun factor. A musical is designed to be infectious and catchy and make the audience feel good. Rock Of Ages succeeded in every aspect! I hadn't seen the Broadway show so I didn't exactly know the plot other than that it involved almost every 1980s classic power ballad. I love '80s rock and recognized 99% of the songs in this film (even if the name of the artist slipped my mind) and it's because these songs were all mega hits at one point in time during that decade. But for those who weren't lucky enough to be raised on '80s music, they should still walk away humming some of those tunes. Despite the film bombing at the box office and getting ripped apart by critics, I held onto some hope this would be an entertaining joyride and I was right. The music is awesome, the acting (for the most part) is well done, and best of all it doesn't take itself seriously but is not a complete farce either. Sure there are some silly moments I could have done without, but overall I found myself really having a blast. It helps to know the lyrics and feel that sense of pleasure when you recognize the opening riff or lyric of a classic ballad. Each song fits perfectly with the story and the moment. It never seemed like overkill to me and I could have listened to them sing (especially on stage) for hours! No question about it, the biggest draw is Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx. I personally have have been a Tom Cruise supporter for some time now. I'm able to look past his real life shenanigans and appreciate him as the fine actor he's consistently been. He completely embraced this character and made him quite fascinating to watch. He could have been any real life mega front man. He is basically an incoherent mess who is too busy drinking and behaving like a sex friend to really get himself together. But when he's on stage boy does he sing his heart out. What a great job! He actually has a semi decent voice and half way through the film I forgot I was even watching Tom Cruise with leather pants and fake tattoos. Adding to his performance is an ensemble cast who are equally joyous to watch..even the usually irritating Russell Brand was on point. Again, there were some off putting moments which were treading on being stupid, but the good outweighed the bad and I found myself caring about what happened and anxiously awaiting the next nostalgic filled tune! It was the fastest two hours I'd experience watching a movie in a while and I look forward to seeing it again. It's a shame it wasn't well received, but I could see this turning into a cult classic of sorts. It has a following, but it just got lost in the middle of this superhero dominated summer season. But if you're interesting in have a little fun and break from the action flicks, I say give this a shot!

My Favorite Summer Films

During this oppressive time of year, I’m able to salvage some enjoyment from watching my favorite so called “summer films”. I’m not talking about summer blockbusters, but rather films which take place outdoors in the heat or just remind me of a certain summer time from the past.  I tend to view movies which coincide with my moods or the weather outside, which happen to go hand-in-hand. So I’m taking this time to mention the ones I watch when it’s hazy, hot, and humid which both lift my spirits and make the season more pleasurable.  

On Golden Pond (1981):

I’ve always been able to enjoy this film even as a younger child, but now as I grow older I am able to inch my way closer to the characters and their fears. I’m not exactly going on eighty years old, but I do feel time is passing me by quicker each year. I also find myself beginning sentences with “when I was younger…” or talking about how much an item cost when I was a kid. I’m starting to lose touch with technology as well. I wouldn’t say I’m fearful of the fast paced changing world, as much as unable to keep up with it. Most of all I fear being a victim of ageism one day. It will happen to all of us eventually. When I watch On Golden Pond I see an elderly man (Norman Thayer) who is obsessed with his demise which is quickly climbing it's way to his front door. He is angry, he is cranky, and he’s hostile that his body and mind aren’t what they used to be. He also has a lack of connection with his daughter which the two must come to terms with before time runs out. What I love most about this film is the scenery and cinematography. I’d love to spend a summer on the lake going fishing and hunting for berries. It always seemed so ideal to me growing up in the city. If I were to finish out my days anywhere it would be in a little cottage house overlooking the sunset and ponds and hearing the loons. So magnificent!

Stand By Me (1986): 

Aside from it taking place on Labor Day weekend, there’s little about this coming of age story that would say it’s a summer film. Still, it’s evident the temperature is hot as they walk along the train tracks and fall into swampy waters. It’s one of my favorite films of all time along with being my favorite Stephen King novella. The acting, the dialogue, the intense emotional moments between these four young men, and above all the humor make it into a classic ‘80s film. It’s a rarity an adapation equals the novella and even exceeds it at times thanks in part to River Phoenix’s moving performance. What a gem he was! Another aspect which makes the film seem like a magical time is the music. My favorite times to listen to golden oldies us during these long hot days and this film is loaded with them. It’s touching, heartbreaking, funny, and a bit gross…not to mention grisly but it makes one appreciate the innocence and almost indescribably painful times youth brings. Sidenote, I need to visit Oregon one day to see that infamous rail road bridge. 

Jaws (1975):

This one goes without saying. It takes place during Fourth of July weekend, on the beach, and was probably the first summer blockbuster in film history. It doesn’t quite have the same effect watching it in the middle of November as it does during this time of year. The menacing soundtrack, the image of the shark closing in on its prey, and of course the legendary lines by the cast all equal to a memorable experience. I’m not a swimmer so I can’t say I was ever lost sleep over being attacked by a killer shark, but I can see why the movie was such a sensation back in 1975 causing people to avoid going into the water. The shark may look fake and but it’s effective in ways a computer generated fish could never be.  Overall it’s an enjoyably frightening and intense summer flick which should be on the top of everyone’s list to watch this weekend.

 

Weekend At Bernie’s (1989):

I’ve never been a fan of comedies, especially ones involving a dead corpse, but this movie is simply hilarious. Again we have a film which takes place on Labor Day weekend on the steamy hazy streets of NYC. There’s nothing sinister going on except for watching Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy run around with the lifeless Bernie. It’s morbid when you think about it, not to mention highly unrealistic (wouldn’t he start to smell by the second day?) but it’s so campy and ridiculous you just have to laugh. I also think it’s Andrew McCarthy’s finest performance as a comedic actor. Who knew! It’s such a joy to watch and I get kick out of it every time just as easily as Bernie gets kicked around. Har. Har.

 

Summer School (1987):

Another ridiculously silly comedy, but for me it represents summer in such a unique way. School! Most teen comedies start the school year off traditionally in September, but here we have a group of C average students who have to take remedial English again after flunking an assessment exam. Let the fun begin! Seriously it’s a great ride watching Mr. Shoop (played by Mark Harmon) deal with these kids and survive the summer as gym instructor turned English teacher. There’s also the lovely Kirstie Alley who looks so amazing in this film. Once again I have to acknowledge how I used to see her as a middle aged woman when I’d watch this film as a kid. Now I’m horrified to realize she was my age during the filming of this movie. Where has the time gone?! Regardless of my issues, this film is just plain fun. Roger Ebert gave it zero stars basically calling it garbage, but I think he was completely over reacting. Sure it’s moronic and juvenile but it’s a movie about summer school with moronic and juvenile teenagers. I attended summer school twice and it would actually the most enjoyable and education times of my high school existence. Go figure. 

 

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983):

Here’s another no brainer for me. Once again the film takes place during summer time and the family is going on summer vacation to (where else) Wallyworld! This film is reminiscent of my younger days when my family would travel hours by car to Disney World. We didn’t have any catastrophes nearly as chaotic as the ones the Griswolds had to endure, but it wasn’t always smooth sailing either. There’s not much to say about this movie other than its Chevy Chase at his best (and my personal favorite) playing Clark W. Griswold. He’s obsessed with giving his family the perfect getaway and thus causes all types of mishaps along the way and eventually has his break down in front of the family when things cannot possibly get any worse…but they always do! It’s great fun to watch and filmed in my favorite state of California. It’s a romp of a good time watching this family go berserk. And don’t forget about Christie Brinkley and the red Ferrari!

List to be continued…

Happy 70th Birthday, Paul!

Mr. McCartney turns 70 today! He looks pretty darn fabulous, I might add. I've been a fan of The Beatles since I watched The Beatles Anthology which aired on ABC in November of 1995. I fell completely and madly in love with everything about them. I ate up their songs, images, lyrics, and the overall feeling their music brought out in me. What a joy this band was...and still is! My favorite was always Sir Paul. To this day when I listen to All My Loving I feel transported to 1964 which obviously was a year I never existed in! That's the power of Beatles music.

Paul's amazing career has surpassed so many musicians which have come before and after. His career continued to soar during the '70s and '80s with his solo outings and as well as with the amazing Wings. He may not be the most sophisticated lyricist, but he writes some of the most catchy melodies ever created. His songs have heart to them. Simple, poignant, and memorable tunes! He has brought smiles and harmonies to millions of fans around the world. I was fortunate enough to see him live at Madison Square Garden back in 2005. I spent an arm and a leg, but I had to see the man in person and it was worth every dollar spent. It was one of those rare moments where I felt choked up at being in the same room with this legend. Truly remarkable! And he's still got it. Even at seventy years of age the man is still rockin' it out with his trademark left handed bass guitar. What an inspiration to us all. I can't possibly fathom what keeps him so energetic and young (must be the vegetarian lifestyle ;)) but whatever he's doing I hope he continues. What a sad world it would be without Macca!

Paul, we'll never tire of your silly love songs. Keep on rockin' for years to come! Oba-La-Di-Oba-La-Da!

40 Random Things About Me

1. I am left handed, but have been forced to gain strength in my right as well.

2. I am very low maintenance. I don't ask for much in life. 

3. Most of the time I don't enjoy talking. I find it to be a chore.

4. I have a very poor sense of direction.

5. I get claustrophobic around large groups of people.

6.  Autumn is my favorite season followed closely by winter. 

7. I've seen every episode of The X-Files.

8. I am consistently late for everything (except flights to LA!)

9. I enjoy listening to oldies from the '50s and '60s.

10. I don't own a vehicle.

11. I speak very softly. Deal with it. If you can't hear me then go talk to someone else.

12.  I enjoy going to the movies and shopping alone.

13. I am not, never have been, and never will be a morning person.

14. Dark chocolate is one of my greatest weaknesses.

15. Some of my closest friends I've met online.

16. I cannot sleep in total silence. I leave the fan on even if directed away from me.

17. I'm not a fan of the NY Yankees despite where I grew up.

18. I am allergic to just about everything.

19. I never learned how to swim.

20. I find manicures and pedicures to be a complete waste of time and money. 

21. I had the best time of my life during a two week road trip to California in 2007.

22. Watching my favorite '80s films is very therapeutic for me.

23. I suffer from palmar and plantar hyperhidrosis.

24. Public speaking is my biggest fear.

25. I love rain and snow storms; sunshine is boring!

26. I can eat an entire jar full of olives in one sitting.

27. Taking off in an airplane is one of the best feelings.

28. I love to watch horror films. The more frightening the better!

29. I don't have a middle name.

30. I am terrible at Math.

31. None of my co-workers know the real me and they probably never will. 

32. I am filled to the brim with regrets.

33. I hate buying shoes. I hate buying clothes period. I'm a casual tomboy.

34. If I'm giggling then it means I like you.

35. I am not good with babies or kids...and I walk in the other direction if I see a group of them.

36. My all time favorite Stephen King literary character is Arnie Cunningham (Christine, 1983).

37. I am a complete coffee addict.

  

38. Comedies rarely ever make me laugh. 

39. I love scented candles and have them in every room. 

40. I'm obsessed with knowing the time and cannot leave the house without a watch. 

 

Childless On Mother's Day.

As another Mother’s Day came upon me yesterday, I thought immediately of my own mother.  Although she’s far away, I was still able to call her and wish her a great day. I realized how lucky I was in that aspect, when I have a few friends who weren’t able to pick up the phone and give their mom a call.  But rarely do I ever spend Mother’s Day contemplating my own disinterest in becoming a mother myself. Nor do I feel sad about it. In fact I hardly ever give it more than two seconds of thought.  Still every now and then I’m rudely reminded of how in this society apparently not everyone agrees. 

I spent the majority of the day washing clothes at the Laundromat. One of the best times to go is on holidays (particularly Mother’s Day) so I had all the washers and driers to myself.  I was minding my own business as I always do when the owner stepped up to me and asked me why I was at the establishment instead of out celebrating Mother’s Day.  I explained to him my mom lives out of state. He then rephrased the question “why aren’t you out with your own kids?” I hesitated before answering knowing full well this was going to lead into a discussion I didn’t care to have, let alone with a perfect stranger. Still I answered him. I told him I didn’t have any kids. He sort of looked at me with a perplexed expression then asked me “why not?” I gave him an equally perplexing expression as if to say “why are you all in my business?” So I just ignored him and kept on washing. He continued on asking why a young woman like me doesn’t have children. I told him I wasn’t that young and I just didn’t have any. Instead of asking for further explanation he just gave me this look like “aww too bad.” I couldn’t take having pity bestowed on me when there was no need. So I told him I never wanted any and was perfectly happy with that choice. Well that set him off. He proceeded to lecture me on the finer points of being a mother. He said there's nothing like it in the world (funny coming from a man who spends most of him yelling at the kids who try to crawl into the drier) and how I shouldn’t be so negative about starting a family. I simply said “it is what it is.” He then asked how my husband felt about all this. Instead of confessing my single status and thus being lectured on how I should be married by now I simply stated “my husband doesn’t want them either.”  I then made me way outside and pretended I had a phone call in order to save myself from further scrutiny. 

I didn’t feel bad or guilty as much as annoyed. It’s nobody’s business what I choose to do with my life, let alone the Laundromat owner. But as I looked around the place I noticed I was the only woman there and I felt some of the other workers’ eyes on me. Normally I would have thought they were feeling bad because I wasn’t with my mom, but now I was thinking they felt bad I wasn’t with the two or three kids I should have. What nerve. I went into that place to do a load of clothes and end up feeling dissected for my life choices. Seriously?  There’s not enough babies and kids having kids out there? Is my life not fulfilled in anyway because I haven’t given birth yet?  If I felt even remotely sad about it then maybe I would have stayed home and gotten drunk. (I got drunk anyway but that’s beside the point). I don’t feel sad. I’m thrilled. I’m content. I know in my heart it was never in my cards to bear children. I’m too selfish and I love my freedom too much. I love to travel. I love to come and go as I please. I don’t have that desire to pick up and coo over a baby. Like EVER. There is multitude of reasons why I have chosen to remain childless, but that’s not the point of this rant. It’s MY choice and I do not have to answer to anyone about it. I was having a perfectly routine Sunday and someone had the balls to attempt to make me feel immoral unnecessarily. Is it really that big of a deal? I am no less of a woman or a good person because of this choice. Perhaps I am missing out on something amazing, but I have to find that out for myself.  Until then I remain many other relevant roles such as daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.  I am those roles all year round and they remain no less crucial to my existence than being a mother would be.   

End rant…and I hope all the Moms out there had a wonderful day.

P.S.-I thank my close friend Maria for inspiring me to write this entry!

Remembering MCA

Adam Yauch

August 5, 1964 - May 4, 2012 

Born and bred Brooklyn U.S.A.
They call me Adam Yauch but I'm M.C.A.
Like a lemon to a lime a lime to a lemon
I sip the def ale with all the fly women

It's been nearly a week since the passing of MCA and I'm still finding it hard to believe. With the recent deaths of so many musicians like Whitney Houston and the legendary Dick Clark, I worry Adam Yauch's demise will be lost in the mix. For me his departure proved to be the most poignant of them all since he's been apart of my music library steadily for over the past twenty-five years.

Whenever I think about The Beastie Boys I immediately conjure up the picture of them in their early 20s standing in front of the Globe in Flushing Meadows Park in Queens.

It was the inside cover image of their 1986 debut album "Licensed To Ill".  Back in the day there used to be vinyl records that opened up like a giant colorful book. The outside of the record had the ill fated crash of an airplane while the inside had this glossy over sized picture. I recall staring at that image for hours, weeks, and months. I thought they were the coolest looking bunch of guys I'd ever seen. Granted I was ten years old at the time and didn't have much to compare to, but nonetheless I was captivated by their look and sound. It was an odd mixture of rap, rock, comedy, drums, spinning records, and all around noise. I absolutely loved it. I think it was the lyrics and prose that drew me in more than anything else. They had a way of rapping about such juvenile topics while simultaneously showing their talent for writing catchy melodies and memorable rhymes. I must have listened to this album (along with my sister) at least a dozen times a week. I remember being amazed by how distinct all their voice were. Adam Horovitz (Ad-Rock) had the loudest and sometimes most screechy voice. It could shatter glass when he got going. Michael Diamond (Mike D) had a more nasally tone that happened to be my favorite voice of the trio. I'm not sure why that was. I guess I felt Mike D. was over looked hiding behind the shades and leather top hat. I always concentrated on his voice/lyrics more than the others though they each worked their harmony together like a fine symphony. Adam Yauch's (MCA) voice was very gravely and had a sandpaper quality to it. I found his lyrics to always be the most catchy. "I got a girl in the Castle and one in the pagoda / You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda" and "If you try to knock me you'll get mocked, I'll stir fry you in my wok." Those lines make me chuckle, but also make me sing along every time. They were brilliant in their writing style and of course pioneers in the world of hip hop. They crossed the barriers and brought an entirely new type of mixture involving rock/rap/electronic and it skyrocketed straight to #1 on the Billboard charts. If I had to explain what it was about The Beastie Boys that worked so well in one simple word? It would be the word FUN. They were a riot to watch and a joy to listen to. Simple as that. Apparently many agreed since they went on to sell 40 million copies of their albums to date.

They became a little more serious as the years went on naturally. They left their home of New York City behind and stopped singing about White Castle and "girlies" and attempted to bring a more down to earth tone to their music. Once again it worked. With "Paul's Boutique" and even up to "To The 5 Boroughs" they continued to bring a new style of rap, this time infusing jazz and funk instead of rock. The days of fighting for their to party were long behind, but the talent never dimmed as evident with "Sabotage" and "Intergalactic" just to name a few! Meanwhile, Adam Yauch was becoming a human rights activist and studying Buddhism. In addition he also co-founded a distribution and production company called Oscilloscope Laboratories which helped launch a few films mainly one of my favorites from 2011 "We Need To Talk About Kevin". I never knew Yauch had contributed so much more beyond his days of being a Beastie Boy. He was a humanitarian and often organized a few benefit concerts supporting Buddhism.

In 2009, he was diagnosed with a cancerous gland and lymph node. I had heard about it on the news and I just assumed he was going to get through it. He was in his mid 40s and I just believed he'd come out winning in the end. There's no way this tough guy from Brooklyn with his leather jacket and five o'clock shadow could be defeated by cancer. I had no idea what kind of battle had truly laid before him.  Nobody does when they find out they have cancer. Ironically The Beastie Boys were inducted into The Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame last month. Yauch was too sick to attend. I should have known then he wouldn't be able to return from such a defeat. For him to miss such a prestigious occasion proved how ill he must have been. To see pictures now of Mike D. and Ad-Rock up on stage without MCA is distressing, knowing full well it was a hint of what was to come. It would be just the two of them now. No longer the dynamic fun loving trio, but a duo of survivors. MCA was lost to the world on May 4, 2012 at the age of forty-seven. It was heartbreaking to hear. It also dawned on me at that precise time that in all the years I had been such a follower of the group I'd never once attempted to see them perform together. I lived (and still live) in their hometown of NYC and it pained me to know I'd lost my chance. The group is done as far as we're all concerned. They worked together as a unit and without any one member it's a house of cards with no structure. Perhaps I'm being melodramatic but I'm still angry that this disease is taking so many wonderful people and now it's starting to creep up on my generation and it's frightening. Still, the music lives on. Their songs remain on my iPod and the visions of listening to them on the turntable as a kid are still as strong as ever. Those memories cannot be taken away. I've been so pleased to see such an outpouring of support from fans and celebrities all around the world. The Beastie Boys music touched more lives than I'd been aware of. I anticipate and hope the early demise of MCA brings a new batch of followers and listeners to Beastie Boys music. That would be the most joyous outcome to such a tragic end.

I've seen this written many times over the last few days but I can't help but reiterate: MCA, I hope you're sleeping well in Brooklyn.

Titanic 3D

When I think about some of the all time great onscreen movie couples throughout the years a few come to mind. For my parents’ generation it may have been Scarlett and Rhett. For today’s generation it may be Edward and Bella. For me it was Jack and Rose.  Watching Titanic for the very first time back on New Year’s Day 1998 was one of the most memorable movie moments I had experienced up until then.  To say the film stirred passions within me is putting it mildly. I felt I had endured something massive after the credits began to roll. I recall going to sleep that night and reliving all the scenes repeatedly in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking it and equally could not wait to watch it again. I had caught Titanic fever along with half the country that night. While my enthusiasm may have subdued through the last fifteen years, my fondness for the film remains true. 

Titanic has mockingly suffered over the last decade due to its overwhelming popularity.  Many view it as over rated, cheesy, melodramatic, and dated (which is ironic seeing it’s primarily a period piece). I agree it is all those things at times (even I cringe during Winslet’s “I’ll never let go” speech and Jack's "King of the World" proclaimation), but in my estimation it’s also a fine example of superior film making. What other three hour film can remain engaging from start to finish after repeated viewings? I personally can’t think of any. Yes it’s long. Yes I know how it will end, but I watch it every time. 

James Cameron was able to achieve something remarkable with this film.  He managed to tell a fictional love story set to a well-known tragedy. Even the idea of creating a movie about Titanic was not original seeing as how there were several movies and one miniseries (also with a love story) already released. He pushed forward and created (at the time) the most financially successful movie of all time. No small feat! As I watched the 3D re-release a few nights ago I remain a firm believer in Cameron’s ability to create works of art. I’ll refrain from commenting on his latest venture Avatar.  With Titanic, he used the latest technology at the time and displayed it in a uniquely magical approach. He made us all feel like we were on that ship. He also made us care about these characters as if they were real. The film begins as a story about Titanic sinking, but ends as a story about the value of human life and as Jack says “making it count.” My all time favorite scene is the "you jump, I jump" moment when Rose finds herself on a lifeboat separated from Jack only to throw herself back on. She looks above at him knowing full well she'll never see him again and risks surviving alone to have a few more hours with him until the ships goes under. I've watched that scene roughly a hundred times in the last fifteen years and my heart swells each time along with the music when she makes her decision to stay with him.

What I love most about this film is how we see every intricate part of the ship from the boiler rooms to engine rooms to the captain’s quarters to third class and above. Probably one of my favorite sequences is the interaction between the crew upon viewing the alarming iceberg. They work quickly without panic knowing full well the lives of over two thousand people are on the line.  As it makes contact I’ve always been amazed by the sound of the ice smashing into the ship. It sounds like a T-Rex roaring angrily. The unsinkable ship is destroyed. As Mr. Andrews says it will founder; it’s only a mathematical certainty. All those scenes play such a pivotal role in raising the intensity and mounting fear. We are then thrusted back into the world of Jack and Rose wanting them to remain together as long possible. I hope I’m not spoiling the end for anyone out there who hasn’t seen it yet in discussing Jack’s early demise. The ending wouldn’t remain as solemn without his passing. During those last minutes in the freezing water he did not focus on the abrupt ending to his life, but at what he experienced during those few short days with Rose. In return her life was spared and salvaged by this man who enabled her to see just how much she had to live for. As I’m writing this the plot sounds convoluted and sappy, but on film it works for me. The acting (especially from Leonardo DiCaprio) is believable though slightly over the top at times. But when dealing with a movie about an enormous sinking ship I suppose it has to be. 

Ironically I came away feeling slightly more sympathetic towards the character of Cal Hockley played by Billy Zane. Perhaps because I'm now thirty-six years old instead of twenty-two, but I feel maybe Cal just needed some good therapy and he wouldn't have been such a bad catch! In one of the deleted scenes we come to learn Cal's entire family became vultures seeking money from him. He got what he deserved, but it was still sad to know he never found happiness beyond his fortune. I wish James Cameron hadn't written him so one dimensionally especially towards the end as he splashes around the sinking ship shooting a gun at the lovers. It all becomes too much; as if they aren't in enough peril. Although he does remain a one note villain, I always loved Billy Zane's performance as Cal. He's a snake, but a damn charming one. As he searches for her on the Carpathia after the rescue, you get a sense of how he may have really cared for her. Or he could have been desperately searching for the diamond.

Now onto the 3D. I personally could have done without it. Most of the time it remained two dimensional. It wasn’t filmed in 3D therefore there could only be so much done to make it look like images had depth to them. I found the underwater sequences towards the beginning with Bill Paxton to be most beneficial using the 3D conversion. We see the bow appear like a ghost out of the water with the fish swimming by. However, when dealing with the fictional characters and love story it was as if I was watching 2D only with the irritating glasses. I would have enjoyed it just as much watching it digitally remastered and without the 3D. I hadn’t heard the film in a theater surrounding since 1998 and I had forgotten how incredible the sounds were of the ship creaking and rattling as it was sinking. The sounds of it breaking in two and completing going under added such realism and intensity. I feel sorry for those who never wish to watch this film on the big screen the way it was intended. So much is lost on dvd and video. 

I continue to be fascinated by both the film and actual real life events surrounding the sinking of the R.M.S. Titanic. As I write this today April 14, 2012 it has been one hundred years since the incident. It’s a heartbreaking story which showed the arrogance of men and the overconfidence in technology to survive any type of disaster.  It was a remarkable ship which in the end proved as fragile and temporary as human life. For a film so strong in it's message, 3D conversion was never necessary.