40 Random Things About Me

1. I am left handed, but have been forced to gain strength in my right as well.

2. I am very low maintenance. I don't ask for much in life. 

3. Most of the time I don't enjoy talking. I find it to be a chore.

4. I have a very poor sense of direction.

5. I get claustrophobic around large groups of people.

6.  Autumn is my favorite season followed closely by winter. 

7. I've seen every episode of The X-Files.

8. I am consistently late for everything (except flights to LA!)

9. I enjoy listening to oldies from the '50s and '60s.

10. I don't own a vehicle.

11. I speak very softly. Deal with it. If you can't hear me then go talk to someone else.

12.  I enjoy going to the movies and shopping alone.

13. I am not, never have been, and never will be a morning person.

14. Dark chocolate is one of my greatest weaknesses.

15. Some of my closest friends I've met online.

16. I cannot sleep in total silence. I leave the fan on even if directed away from me.

17. I'm not a fan of the NY Yankees despite where I grew up.

18. I am allergic to just about everything.

19. I never learned how to swim.

20. I find manicures and pedicures to be a complete waste of time and money. 

21. I had the best time of my life during a two week road trip to California in 2007.

22. Watching my favorite '80s films is very therapeutic for me.

23. I suffer from palmar and plantar hyperhidrosis.

24. Public speaking is my biggest fear.

25. I love rain and snow storms; sunshine is boring!

26. I can eat an entire jar full of olives in one sitting.

27. Taking off in an airplane is one of the best feelings.

28. I love to watch horror films. The more frightening the better!

29. I don't have a middle name.

30. I am terrible at Math.

31. None of my co-workers know the real me and they probably never will. 

32. I am filled to the brim with regrets.

33. I hate buying shoes. I hate buying clothes period. I'm a casual tomboy.

34. If I'm giggling then it means I like you.

35. I am not good with babies or kids...and I walk in the other direction if I see a group of them.

36. My all time favorite Stephen King literary character is Arnie Cunningham (Christine, 1983).

37. I am a complete coffee addict.

  

38. Comedies rarely ever make me laugh. 

39. I love scented candles and have them in every room. 

40. I'm obsessed with knowing the time and cannot leave the house without a watch. 

 

Childless On Mother's Day.

As another Mother’s Day came upon me yesterday, I thought immediately of my own mother.  Although she’s far away, I was still able to call her and wish her a great day. I realized how lucky I was in that aspect, when I have a few friends who weren’t able to pick up the phone and give their mom a call.  But rarely do I ever spend Mother’s Day contemplating my own disinterest in becoming a mother myself. Nor do I feel sad about it. In fact I hardly ever give it more than two seconds of thought.  Still every now and then I’m rudely reminded of how in this society apparently not everyone agrees. 

I spent the majority of the day washing clothes at the Laundromat. One of the best times to go is on holidays (particularly Mother’s Day) so I had all the washers and driers to myself.  I was minding my own business as I always do when the owner stepped up to me and asked me why I was at the establishment instead of out celebrating Mother’s Day.  I explained to him my mom lives out of state. He then rephrased the question “why aren’t you out with your own kids?” I hesitated before answering knowing full well this was going to lead into a discussion I didn’t care to have, let alone with a perfect stranger. Still I answered him. I told him I didn’t have any kids. He sort of looked at me with a perplexed expression then asked me “why not?” I gave him an equally perplexing expression as if to say “why are you all in my business?” So I just ignored him and kept on washing. He continued on asking why a young woman like me doesn’t have children. I told him I wasn’t that young and I just didn’t have any. Instead of asking for further explanation he just gave me this look like “aww too bad.” I couldn’t take having pity bestowed on me when there was no need. So I told him I never wanted any and was perfectly happy with that choice. Well that set him off. He proceeded to lecture me on the finer points of being a mother. He said there's nothing like it in the world (funny coming from a man who spends most of him yelling at the kids who try to crawl into the drier) and how I shouldn’t be so negative about starting a family. I simply said “it is what it is.” He then asked how my husband felt about all this. Instead of confessing my single status and thus being lectured on how I should be married by now I simply stated “my husband doesn’t want them either.”  I then made me way outside and pretended I had a phone call in order to save myself from further scrutiny. 

I didn’t feel bad or guilty as much as annoyed. It’s nobody’s business what I choose to do with my life, let alone the Laundromat owner. But as I looked around the place I noticed I was the only woman there and I felt some of the other workers’ eyes on me. Normally I would have thought they were feeling bad because I wasn’t with my mom, but now I was thinking they felt bad I wasn’t with the two or three kids I should have. What nerve. I went into that place to do a load of clothes and end up feeling dissected for my life choices. Seriously?  There’s not enough babies and kids having kids out there? Is my life not fulfilled in anyway because I haven’t given birth yet?  If I felt even remotely sad about it then maybe I would have stayed home and gotten drunk. (I got drunk anyway but that’s beside the point). I don’t feel sad. I’m thrilled. I’m content. I know in my heart it was never in my cards to bear children. I’m too selfish and I love my freedom too much. I love to travel. I love to come and go as I please. I don’t have that desire to pick up and coo over a baby. Like EVER. There is multitude of reasons why I have chosen to remain childless, but that’s not the point of this rant. It’s MY choice and I do not have to answer to anyone about it. I was having a perfectly routine Sunday and someone had the balls to attempt to make me feel immoral unnecessarily. Is it really that big of a deal? I am no less of a woman or a good person because of this choice. Perhaps I am missing out on something amazing, but I have to find that out for myself.  Until then I remain many other relevant roles such as daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.  I am those roles all year round and they remain no less crucial to my existence than being a mother would be.   

End rant…and I hope all the Moms out there had a wonderful day.

P.S.-I thank my close friend Maria for inspiring me to write this entry!

Remembering MCA

Adam Yauch

August 5, 1964 - May 4, 2012 

Born and bred Brooklyn U.S.A.
They call me Adam Yauch but I'm M.C.A.
Like a lemon to a lime a lime to a lemon
I sip the def ale with all the fly women

It's been nearly a week since the passing of MCA and I'm still finding it hard to believe. With the recent deaths of so many musicians like Whitney Houston and the legendary Dick Clark, I worry Adam Yauch's demise will be lost in the mix. For me his departure proved to be the most poignant of them all since he's been apart of my music library steadily for over the past twenty-five years.

Whenever I think about The Beastie Boys I immediately conjure up the picture of them in their early 20s standing in front of the Globe in Flushing Meadows Park in Queens.

It was the inside cover image of their 1986 debut album "Licensed To Ill".  Back in the day there used to be vinyl records that opened up like a giant colorful book. The outside of the record had the ill fated crash of an airplane while the inside had this glossy over sized picture. I recall staring at that image for hours, weeks, and months. I thought they were the coolest looking bunch of guys I'd ever seen. Granted I was ten years old at the time and didn't have much to compare to, but nonetheless I was captivated by their look and sound. It was an odd mixture of rap, rock, comedy, drums, spinning records, and all around noise. I absolutely loved it. I think it was the lyrics and prose that drew me in more than anything else. They had a way of rapping about such juvenile topics while simultaneously showing their talent for writing catchy melodies and memorable rhymes. I must have listened to this album (along with my sister) at least a dozen times a week. I remember being amazed by how distinct all their voice were. Adam Horovitz (Ad-Rock) had the loudest and sometimes most screechy voice. It could shatter glass when he got going. Michael Diamond (Mike D) had a more nasally tone that happened to be my favorite voice of the trio. I'm not sure why that was. I guess I felt Mike D. was over looked hiding behind the shades and leather top hat. I always concentrated on his voice/lyrics more than the others though they each worked their harmony together like a fine symphony. Adam Yauch's (MCA) voice was very gravely and had a sandpaper quality to it. I found his lyrics to always be the most catchy. "I got a girl in the Castle and one in the pagoda / You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda" and "If you try to knock me you'll get mocked, I'll stir fry you in my wok." Those lines make me chuckle, but also make me sing along every time. They were brilliant in their writing style and of course pioneers in the world of hip hop. They crossed the barriers and brought an entirely new type of mixture involving rock/rap/electronic and it skyrocketed straight to #1 on the Billboard charts. If I had to explain what it was about The Beastie Boys that worked so well in one simple word? It would be the word FUN. They were a riot to watch and a joy to listen to. Simple as that. Apparently many agreed since they went on to sell 40 million copies of their albums to date.

They became a little more serious as the years went on naturally. They left their home of New York City behind and stopped singing about White Castle and "girlies" and attempted to bring a more down to earth tone to their music. Once again it worked. With "Paul's Boutique" and even up to "To The 5 Boroughs" they continued to bring a new style of rap, this time infusing jazz and funk instead of rock. The days of fighting for their to party were long behind, but the talent never dimmed as evident with "Sabotage" and "Intergalactic" just to name a few! Meanwhile, Adam Yauch was becoming a human rights activist and studying Buddhism. In addition he also co-founded a distribution and production company called Oscilloscope Laboratories which helped launch a few films mainly one of my favorites from 2011 "We Need To Talk About Kevin". I never knew Yauch had contributed so much more beyond his days of being a Beastie Boy. He was a humanitarian and often organized a few benefit concerts supporting Buddhism.

In 2009, he was diagnosed with a cancerous gland and lymph node. I had heard about it on the news and I just assumed he was going to get through it. He was in his mid 40s and I just believed he'd come out winning in the end. There's no way this tough guy from Brooklyn with his leather jacket and five o'clock shadow could be defeated by cancer. I had no idea what kind of battle had truly laid before him.  Nobody does when they find out they have cancer. Ironically The Beastie Boys were inducted into The Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame last month. Yauch was too sick to attend. I should have known then he wouldn't be able to return from such a defeat. For him to miss such a prestigious occasion proved how ill he must have been. To see pictures now of Mike D. and Ad-Rock up on stage without MCA is distressing, knowing full well it was a hint of what was to come. It would be just the two of them now. No longer the dynamic fun loving trio, but a duo of survivors. MCA was lost to the world on May 4, 2012 at the age of forty-seven. It was heartbreaking to hear. It also dawned on me at that precise time that in all the years I had been such a follower of the group I'd never once attempted to see them perform together. I lived (and still live) in their hometown of NYC and it pained me to know I'd lost my chance. The group is done as far as we're all concerned. They worked together as a unit and without any one member it's a house of cards with no structure. Perhaps I'm being melodramatic but I'm still angry that this disease is taking so many wonderful people and now it's starting to creep up on my generation and it's frightening. Still, the music lives on. Their songs remain on my iPod and the visions of listening to them on the turntable as a kid are still as strong as ever. Those memories cannot be taken away. I've been so pleased to see such an outpouring of support from fans and celebrities all around the world. The Beastie Boys music touched more lives than I'd been aware of. I anticipate and hope the early demise of MCA brings a new batch of followers and listeners to Beastie Boys music. That would be the most joyous outcome to such a tragic end.

I've seen this written many times over the last few days but I can't help but reiterate: MCA, I hope you're sleeping well in Brooklyn.